There you can hear it. Time has flown. Believe or not i might possibly be turning 21, So the post below with all the I's are things i should have half fulfilled. Sorry to break it to you, but i don't think i have changed much over the past few years pretty much the same.
But instead of rants, i think i might just turn this blog around and make it positive as much as possible.
So last weekend i went on a YFC camp. I must say i was never a fan of god/Jesus. I always thought that it was a silly cult, where people praise this one man, who believes to have performed many miracles. I ask my self why do people preach to him so much? why would people start crying when they sing songs about this man?. He was so BC years ago, people who are living today have not even seen him in person so how can you put so much faith, love and trust in this non existing person.
I was brought up in a catholic school, i was taught a lot about god. I was told stories and miracles that happened and that were performed. Recently in the past year or so i have only started to gain interest in this religion. I started to attend church functions, events, masses. I must say as a so called beginner i've seen some stuff that are pretty confronting but yet in a way i feel quiet comfortable with. So the camp YFC i went to last weekend, was about finding yourself with Jesus. Getting to know more of your own relationship with jesus and god. The content of the retreat was pretty much the same as the last retreat i attended last year but just not as intense.
The most silly thing was that i went to the retreat with a pretty negative attitude. 1st of all, my best friend going to be there! That's the whole retreat fun gone. 2nd of all. without best friend i have no guide as to what to do.
So started off with bed arrangements when i arrived with a few other friends. There was this policy where all the girls stayed in one room and the boy's all stayed in one room. but definition of one room of girls was more like 19 girls crammed in a small room. That itself i was liking also the fact that my bed was near the door. Way to start off the camp with me and my crappy attitude and now the bedroom thing.
Then we had group activities. They ask questions like, who is jesus to you?, how do you see jesus as? when has he helped you/ felt his presence?. Questions like this to me is something i just can't answer. Not trying to use excuses or anything, but i don't really believe in miracles. so therefore i don't believe in jesus being there to protect us. One of the members was telling us a story how her house nearly burnt down, but she said she felt gods presence when she had the courage to put out the fire. Using the knowledge i payed for, the first thing that comes to my mind is ' the reason you had the courage to put out the fire was because of your negative feedback response "fight or flight"situation' How on earth can jesus have anything to do with this?. But then i guess everyone see things in a different way. So then it came to my turn, i had no idea as to how i was going to respond to this. It's not because i don't believe in him, i do but just not in a way where i think he can perform something where i could be saved or helped.
Yet that discussion made me uncomfortable, and uneasy.
Was then later into the camp where i started to change my point of view. Did you know music is a really good way to speak to people? a really good way to express something?.
We ended up doing quiet a lot of praising during the last 2 days of camp. At first i didn't like it, but it slowly got to me. The lyrics are so meaningful, and the tune itself is nice.
3 days of quietness with no television or supposedly no internet (i couldn't resist i went on facebook) but coming home i felt very content. pretty much emotionless. not much laughter, 1 probs because i was tired. I had this song stuck in my head - hero by Erique iglesias and To the end of the earth by hillsong (mainly this song) i've been singing this song for 3 days straight, and i'm not sick of it. My heart and head has been so quiet that i didn't really notice it until i watched a movie on tuesday night. After watching the movie i can feel the old me coming back my brain was getting worked up all again. BUt this was something i wanted to change. I didn't really like the person i used to be. I wasn't really a considerate person, i didn't really think before i talked. i guess i would have hurted a lot of people. and that bad mouth of mine needs a lot of soap to wash it clean. The first thing i did was play To the ends of the earth on my ipod, and there i was back in my place. i was more calm. i think positive, i wasn't so angry at the things i was before.
I guess at camp somethings just happen to you without you knowing but in a good way. With such a beautiful nature background spending 3 days away from the city is very head clearing. It gives you a lot of time to think, a lot of time to make friendship but most of all get to know yourself more and to think about all the bad habits that might be hurting the people around you.
I think i can live like that for a while... i do hope i keep up what i am doing now and don't give up.
Oh and to say i think i might just have started to fall in love with jesus? i know i was against all this, i'm pretty much eating up my words now. it's hard to describe but when i listen to the songs my heart just beats a little bit more faster . . ..
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, October 19, 2009
Today
Today we start with the most selfish word I. . .
I. . . can't wait until i turn 21 so i can buy my new house
I . . . can't wait until i have peace in this world
I. . . would be the worlds happiest person without having to put up with this crap!
The things he says are stupid!
He thinks he is all good! He thinks i have raised my kids well! What kids. From the beginning i was never his child! Pft he never attended any of my ceremonies?? He never attended my graduation. . He never attended my Ball! So what the hell is he on about huh? Him getting pissed off at me? Wait it should be me, where the hell was he during my entire childhood? Oh yeah that's right. ' WORK' was important! Even though he was just an employer it's called take a sick leave day. And now he pretends to CARE about my education and chucks a hissy fit! Hello, your nothing to me. don't just come to the dinner table try to take control of the family and ruin my mum;s birthday!
I don't need a father like him! OLD, retard! who needs to know someone like him?
Okay must cool down. Ranting is not going to change anything. All i have to do is let time past by :] it won't be long and i willl be 21 :]
On the other hand i brought a very yummy cake. First time i brought something where my mum and sis and bro agreed that it tasted good hehe :]
Tomorrow last class then SHOPPING WITH COFFEE AND CAKE with good friend :] so excited hehe
been longing for this day to come. using muffins as substitue to cakes. it never works like that! o th smell os Lola by marc jacobs smells so good. <3
I. . . can't wait until i turn 21 so i can buy my new house
I . . . can't wait until i have peace in this world
I. . . would be the worlds happiest person without having to put up with this crap!
The things he says are stupid!
He thinks he is all good! He thinks i have raised my kids well! What kids. From the beginning i was never his child! Pft he never attended any of my ceremonies?? He never attended my graduation. . He never attended my Ball! So what the hell is he on about huh? Him getting pissed off at me? Wait it should be me, where the hell was he during my entire childhood? Oh yeah that's right. ' WORK' was important! Even though he was just an employer it's called take a sick leave day. And now he pretends to CARE about my education and chucks a hissy fit! Hello, your nothing to me. don't just come to the dinner table try to take control of the family and ruin my mum;s birthday!
I don't need a father like him! OLD, retard! who needs to know someone like him?
Okay must cool down. Ranting is not going to change anything. All i have to do is let time past by :] it won't be long and i willl be 21 :]
On the other hand i brought a very yummy cake. First time i brought something where my mum and sis and bro agreed that it tasted good hehe :]
Tomorrow last class then SHOPPING WITH COFFEE AND CAKE with good friend :] so excited hehe
been longing for this day to come. using muffins as substitue to cakes. it never works like that! o th smell os Lola by marc jacobs smells so good. <3
Monday, October 13, 2008
i was...
i had heaps to write tonight, then started to play msn uno... then got lazy so today i am not going to bother with a post
but hope that everyone had a wonderful day and stayed happy
AND A BIG SHOUT OUT TO STEPHANIE, HAPPY 18TH GO WILD, PARTY HEAPS, GET HEAPS OF PRESSIE AND EAT LOTS OF BIRTHDAY CAKE =]
and to you all have yet another wonder adventurous day =]
but hope that everyone had a wonderful day and stayed happy
AND A BIG SHOUT OUT TO STEPHANIE, HAPPY 18TH GO WILD, PARTY HEAPS, GET HEAPS OF PRESSIE AND EAT LOTS OF BIRTHDAY CAKE =]
and to you all have yet another wonder adventurous day =]
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Is it time yet?
Craving for chocolate, yes i have the urge of just transforming everything into chocolate so i can just eat it, but obviously it's impossible because i am not some kind of chocolate queen.
Anyways been some busy crazy past few months. assignments due, party, break.
Oh break that was the thing i was looking for to the most, i was literally busy for the whole week, caught up with friends and watched, 'eagle eye'. I did not think that it was going to turn out great, not until i saw it, man did it put you in a lot of suspense through out the movie. ha ha i enjoyed which was cool... the next day went to the movies with a another friend and watched 'wall e' it is one of the most cutest 3D animation's i have ever seen.n But then there were some boring scenes =]
The one i want to watch most is 'the duchess' hehe... i only have to go through another week then i have a 1 week holiday =D
For some reason i have been off put of alcohol, i no longer crave for it and if it is offered to me i do not get over excited about it. Like at the beginning of the year, i was pretty much like Oh my god, i am going to be legal for drinking so i want to try every kind, then last night they were mixing little portions of different drink and giving them out, and literally there was quite a lot, and i rejected all. That's a lot of will power, for me. A lot drank last night because none of them really drove to the party.
my action surprised me a bit, but in a way i am proud of myself. Even though this sounds like something that can be easily done.
Anyways moving on to a better topic~! Oh my god i am obsess with cookies and cream. The ice cream and the drink. Nothing suss about it huh? but yes i have craved for it when i can. I had a cookie and cream drink at Icey ice. It was really good =D oh and pizza, craving for that to. Yes i know, people would probably be thinking, 'just go and get it, why crave for it!' i am to lazy to go out and buy it, and icey ice is all the way in the city and i do not go past it, so the only chance when i to icey ice is during my university break week. So only one more week to endure the pain of learning, well not really a pain, but just the fact that knowing after that week and a study break following after it, that your exam was going to be in your face before you know it totally eeks.!
But once exams are over, i can relax, yet at the same time, totally stress about. How the hell i was going to celebrate my birthday! everyone have exams during my birthday, and i can celebrate it late, but where am i going to hold it?. Many things to consider.
Oh wells, that is all for later to worry about, now is the study and looking forward to the study break. =D
Anyways been some busy crazy past few months. assignments due, party, break.
Oh break that was the thing i was looking for to the most, i was literally busy for the whole week, caught up with friends and watched, 'eagle eye'. I did not think that it was going to turn out great, not until i saw it, man did it put you in a lot of suspense through out the movie. ha ha i enjoyed which was cool... the next day went to the movies with a another friend and watched 'wall e' it is one of the most cutest 3D animation's i have ever seen.n But then there were some boring scenes =]
The one i want to watch most is 'the duchess' hehe... i only have to go through another week then i have a 1 week holiday =D
For some reason i have been off put of alcohol, i no longer crave for it and if it is offered to me i do not get over excited about it. Like at the beginning of the year, i was pretty much like Oh my god, i am going to be legal for drinking so i want to try every kind, then last night they were mixing little portions of different drink and giving them out, and literally there was quite a lot, and i rejected all. That's a lot of will power, for me. A lot drank last night because none of them really drove to the party.
my action surprised me a bit, but in a way i am proud of myself. Even though this sounds like something that can be easily done.
Anyways moving on to a better topic~! Oh my god i am obsess with cookies and cream. The ice cream and the drink. Nothing suss about it huh? but yes i have craved for it when i can. I had a cookie and cream drink at Icey ice. It was really good =D oh and pizza, craving for that to. Yes i know, people would probably be thinking, 'just go and get it, why crave for it!' i am to lazy to go out and buy it, and icey ice is all the way in the city and i do not go past it, so the only chance when i to icey ice is during my university break week. So only one more week to endure the pain of learning, well not really a pain, but just the fact that knowing after that week and a study break following after it, that your exam was going to be in your face before you know it totally eeks.!
But once exams are over, i can relax, yet at the same time, totally stress about. How the hell i was going to celebrate my birthday! everyone have exams during my birthday, and i can celebrate it late, but where am i going to hold it?. Many things to consider.
Oh wells, that is all for later to worry about, now is the study and looking forward to the study break. =D
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
hello
my fellow readers =D, i have completed my exams, currently waiting for results.
I had my interview for the University, it was pretty nervous if you as me. I had to dress up all nicely, but then i was heading to the city later hehe, so i was being sneaky and looked formal at the top half and inform down the bottom =D. I have been doing quiet a lot of spending ever since my holidays have started. I got my self some lovely denim shorts [this is something i would usually never do] but lately i haven't been myself. I even recently went out and got myself some red jeans! Since when did i wear coloured jeans?But i must say they do look pretty dazzling =D
Tomorrow i'm going out with another friend of mines, and it's the city. Oh gosh i'm getting so bored of that place. I crave for a movie these days, but my best friends are going through the process of exams. Damn it. Why can't all universitys have their exams all at once. This makes it easier for the teachers and the students, everyone can see each other without worrying about their timetable.
Another to mention. OMG i need a job! i need handy fast cash. but my local area, doesn't seem to need any hiring at the moment. So all i can do it wait. which is getting quiet frustrating, because all fast food areas are looking for people to hire. But i promised myself never to work at a fast food store, because the amount of suffering you get from there =[ and how early you had to get up just to earn that little money. My parents allowed me to get a job but they said it has to be across the road. I mean what the hell, i haven't reached my legal age, otherwise i would have worked at the newagency, but other than that i'm pretty sure i'll never get hired the amount of applicants that applied. [damn you people]
i found a new exciting layout, you like it? i bet you do haha...
Alrights it's getting late... it's about time i hit the nice cozy materials in my room.
Oh and i can't believe that Australia is soon going to be on shortage of Gas. This really sucks, my parents are trying to contribute some help, so then they said that we are not allowed to use the heater this year!! they have got to be kidding me! this Winter is like crazy cold, especially how the climate has changed dramtically over the years. Australia these days are either summer or winter, not much of spring and autmn happens here! damn it! i'm hell going to freeze my ass off this Winter~! i guess more shopping for clothes to keep me warm this season =D
Good night =]
my fellow readers =D, i have completed my exams, currently waiting for results.
I had my interview for the University, it was pretty nervous if you as me. I had to dress up all nicely, but then i was heading to the city later hehe, so i was being sneaky and looked formal at the top half and inform down the bottom =D. I have been doing quiet a lot of spending ever since my holidays have started. I got my self some lovely denim shorts [this is something i would usually never do] but lately i haven't been myself. I even recently went out and got myself some red jeans! Since when did i wear coloured jeans?But i must say they do look pretty dazzling =D
Tomorrow i'm going out with another friend of mines, and it's the city. Oh gosh i'm getting so bored of that place. I crave for a movie these days, but my best friends are going through the process of exams. Damn it. Why can't all universitys have their exams all at once. This makes it easier for the teachers and the students, everyone can see each other without worrying about their timetable.
Another to mention. OMG i need a job! i need handy fast cash. but my local area, doesn't seem to need any hiring at the moment. So all i can do it wait. which is getting quiet frustrating, because all fast food areas are looking for people to hire. But i promised myself never to work at a fast food store, because the amount of suffering you get from there =[ and how early you had to get up just to earn that little money. My parents allowed me to get a job but they said it has to be across the road. I mean what the hell, i haven't reached my legal age, otherwise i would have worked at the newagency, but other than that i'm pretty sure i'll never get hired the amount of applicants that applied. [damn you people]
i found a new exciting layout, you like it? i bet you do haha...
Alrights it's getting late... it's about time i hit the nice cozy materials in my room.
Oh and i can't believe that Australia is soon going to be on shortage of Gas. This really sucks, my parents are trying to contribute some help, so then they said that we are not allowed to use the heater this year!! they have got to be kidding me! this Winter is like crazy cold, especially how the climate has changed dramtically over the years. Australia these days are either summer or winter, not much of spring and autmn happens here! damn it! i'm hell going to freeze my ass off this Winter~! i guess more shopping for clothes to keep me warm this season =D
Good night =]
Thursday, May 22, 2008
OMG play this game, it give you a fair idea what it's like to have a career like this! VERY STRESSFUL I TELL YOU worse than studying man! never ever will i work at a petrol station and that's hell confirmed man!
 BP Gas Mania Keep your customers happy! |
| Play this free game now!! |
Friday, May 09, 2008
i have finally completed my assignment essay, but then got presentation next week got two actually and one of them i am presenting second, and then my other one i am presenting first, which kind of piss me off, because i had a choice whether to go first nor not, but i was in a i don't care mood so i accepted it T_T
Anyways, i am meant to be raging so here i go, as i mention from my previous blog that i was going to a friends 18th, anyways i need a lift and all that crap, but i do not really know how i can get there because mum starts work at about 5 or maybe early, anyways, i text my friend and asked her if i can come a little bit early she said that she doesn't really know what is happening so then told me to go an hour later i told her sure... why not, pft then i told mum, she literally did not answer which really pissed me off, i had to reply my friend so i repeated what i said again, and she goes,' yeah i heard what you said you do not need to repeat yourself' WTF she did not answer me and gets pissed of at me, she always do that to me! she has no time management, always disorganised, this is probably where i got those talents as well, and probably why i failed half of my freakin school life, being disorganised and not knowing time management! anyway I asked her what time, ha all she can say was erm i am not sure about that maybe around this time and that time?? uh.. what the hell is this time or that time, i swear she must have got the basic learning skills and that is learning how to read the stupid clock! ha then she goes with another idea, oh what about this you can go to the party half an hour late, and you could have dinner at work then i can send you there! ha she is pretty smart, finding a way to get herself out of work, as soon as she can! and what i am not going to let her ruin my fun, i get there late, within 2 hours i get a phone call from her screaming,' i am coming to pick you up now! because i have work tomorrow and i am tired at the moment so i need my sleep so be ready this time [which means i will be standing near the door wait for half an hour for her to arrive even though we live so close] so Christ sakes, she always ruin my fun. she never go to work on time always half an hour to forty five minutes late, makes an excuse like i had to clean the house blah blah blah which she doesn't all she does is clean those two dishes from my brother and sisters breakfast, she takes half an hour in the bathroom every morning! then she leaves at like 2 or 2:30 to pick my brother and sister up, goes home sleeps until 5 to 5 then goes to work, she comes home at 9 then complains how tiring her day was god damn it she does nothing at work, we have literally hired a guy at the back of the kitchen to help out with the orders, all she does is take in the orders and deliver it. she does everything in slow slow motion, takes her time, like on Saturday mornings she tires to be hard working gets up at freaking 6:30 dragging me up with her as well go to the stupid vegetable markets, and she like drags her feet while she walks to grab the vegetables she needs, then comes back and complain how so many people go or either that there was no vegetables today, literally i do not give a damn about it! we go home, i have to cook breakfast for her, i don't mind it, but at times i just really can not be bothered to go through the whole process of cleaning up all the mess for her! anyway there again she goes for her sleep until it is about quarter to nine then we leave the house and yet we are late again! she does some of the vegetable chopping, a small bunch of celery like about4 to 5 bunch, can actually take her 3 hours just to cut them up seriously. and she tries and create all these weird foods, and preparing dinner also takes many hours to prepare lets say more 3 hours as well! WHAT THE HELL it is only feeding 5 people, and all 5 of us do not eat a lot, then it is time to go home for a nap, oh yeah and now since my oldest daughter is hard working i think i will leave at lets say 2 then will not come back until 6 or maybe 6:30 if i feel like it! and then for the rest of the night she decides to read magazines, ha i ask her why are you reading magazines, sometimes i get tired because i only get an hour to sit down, or maybe not even and hour if people decide to have dinner at 3! anyway she makes a remark oh well i need to read these, its my relaxing time! er what ever i am pretty sure she just had like a 4 hour break and those magazines are not important because it is just seeing what is on special! then another break come around 8, i literally have to set her dinner out and then when i do and she decided to go to the toilet[ okay the meaning of toilet is not a normal term for us you see when mum goes to the toilet that means walking halfway, she goes and talk to the cleaners, for lets say 5 to 10 minutes, okay then he gets pissed, then moves my mum then continues to walk towards the toilet then starts chatting to one the the tenants for about 20 minutes to half an hour goes to the toilet then comes back but makes a stop at the same tenant shop she was talking to before have talk again for say about 15 minutes then makes her way back][sorry it sounds like stalking but it makes you wonder how can a trip to a toilet take so long especially if you only need to piss!] she sits down and eats and then complains, this food is cold, did you reheat this? blah blah, i am pretty sure i did, but you just decided to make everything cold, then at nights when she is back from work , she knows that she is tired and that the next day is going to be hard for her if she does not get her rest! but she does not care, she goes and watch television until 12 + then the next morning starts complaining about her aches!
there is so much more i can just rage about, it just annoys me why can she not just be a responsible mother, who organises herself, knows what she is doing each day at what time and keep her mobile phone with her at all times, literally when you need to call her desperately, it is never with her someday i am going to have a serious accident and then when i need to reach her ha, i will not be able to and then before she knows it she will be blaming herself and regretting so many things!
But on the good sides of me, today i went to a cafe to buy my friend pepsi as a b'day present [ u only get it if you were there at that moment] anyways, i remember giving the guy a ten dollar note, because the can only costed two dollars, anyway he looked at me and started a conversation and started to ask me questions like, are you Singaporean or or Malaysian something like that, i told him no and then said to him that my uncle used to own this cafe, he ask a few questions then gave me my change and left, i walked out of the cafe was near the coffee shop kind of far away, the change was still in my hand because i was trying to but that can in my bag hopping it will not explode or make my books all soaked, got near the bus station was putting my chain back into my purse but then only realising that the man had give me fifty two dollars change, oh my god i was like a little girl at a candy store i was happy, probably because it was quiet a lot of money to receive especially when you just gave someone ten dollars hoping the return of eight dollars back. then i called mum and told her about it, she said i should give it back, but i was not going to walk all the way back because my mum had just arrived and i am not going to miss that bus and wait half an hour for the next one to arrive, so i told her she laughed and said lets talk about it when you get home, we shall think of ways to spend it. In our tradition if you receive wrong change[a greater amount like in my case] or picked up money from the floor, you should think of ways to spend it, little bit or all of it, but just a way of spending it because it kind of symbolise as stealing i do not know how but it is bad luck. i was just jumping happy all the way home, 1st of all would be i have never receive wrong change from anyone, but i have given out the wrong change and since it is first time man that is a huge amount. not even my parents would give me fifty dollars that casually! since i have been having a bad day that was actually the only thing that cheered me up so i am pretty happy about it =]
anyway it is getting late and tomorrow is Saturday, so guess what! i am heading to the vegetable markets bright and early, hope you all get a good sleep in =]
Kayan
Anyways, i am meant to be raging so here i go, as i mention from my previous blog that i was going to a friends 18th, anyways i need a lift and all that crap, but i do not really know how i can get there because mum starts work at about 5 or maybe early, anyways, i text my friend and asked her if i can come a little bit early she said that she doesn't really know what is happening so then told me to go an hour later i told her sure... why not, pft then i told mum, she literally did not answer which really pissed me off, i had to reply my friend so i repeated what i said again, and she goes,' yeah i heard what you said you do not need to repeat yourself' WTF she did not answer me and gets pissed of at me, she always do that to me! she has no time management, always disorganised, this is probably where i got those talents as well, and probably why i failed half of my freakin school life, being disorganised and not knowing time management! anyway I asked her what time, ha all she can say was erm i am not sure about that maybe around this time and that time?? uh.. what the hell is this time or that time, i swear she must have got the basic learning skills and that is learning how to read the stupid clock! ha then she goes with another idea, oh what about this you can go to the party half an hour late, and you could have dinner at work then i can send you there! ha she is pretty smart, finding a way to get herself out of work, as soon as she can! and what i am not going to let her ruin my fun, i get there late, within 2 hours i get a phone call from her screaming,' i am coming to pick you up now! because i have work tomorrow and i am tired at the moment so i need my sleep so be ready this time [which means i will be standing near the door wait for half an hour for her to arrive even though we live so close] so Christ sakes, she always ruin my fun. she never go to work on time always half an hour to forty five minutes late, makes an excuse like i had to clean the house blah blah blah which she doesn't all she does is clean those two dishes from my brother and sisters breakfast, she takes half an hour in the bathroom every morning! then she leaves at like 2 or 2:30 to pick my brother and sister up, goes home sleeps until 5 to 5 then goes to work, she comes home at 9 then complains how tiring her day was god damn it she does nothing at work, we have literally hired a guy at the back of the kitchen to help out with the orders, all she does is take in the orders and deliver it. she does everything in slow slow motion, takes her time, like on Saturday mornings she tires to be hard working gets up at freaking 6:30 dragging me up with her as well go to the stupid vegetable markets, and she like drags her feet while she walks to grab the vegetables she needs, then comes back and complain how so many people go or either that there was no vegetables today, literally i do not give a damn about it! we go home, i have to cook breakfast for her, i don't mind it, but at times i just really can not be bothered to go through the whole process of cleaning up all the mess for her! anyway there again she goes for her sleep until it is about quarter to nine then we leave the house and yet we are late again! she does some of the vegetable chopping, a small bunch of celery like about4 to 5 bunch, can actually take her 3 hours just to cut them up seriously. and she tries and create all these weird foods, and preparing dinner also takes many hours to prepare lets say more 3 hours as well! WHAT THE HELL it is only feeding 5 people, and all 5 of us do not eat a lot, then it is time to go home for a nap, oh yeah and now since my oldest daughter is hard working i think i will leave at lets say 2 then will not come back until 6 or maybe 6:30 if i feel like it! and then for the rest of the night she decides to read magazines, ha i ask her why are you reading magazines, sometimes i get tired because i only get an hour to sit down, or maybe not even and hour if people decide to have dinner at 3! anyway she makes a remark oh well i need to read these, its my relaxing time! er what ever i am pretty sure she just had like a 4 hour break and those magazines are not important because it is just seeing what is on special! then another break come around 8, i literally have to set her dinner out and then when i do and she decided to go to the toilet[ okay the meaning of toilet is not a normal term for us you see when mum goes to the toilet that means walking halfway, she goes and talk to the cleaners, for lets say 5 to 10 minutes, okay then he gets pissed, then moves my mum then continues to walk towards the toilet then starts chatting to one the the tenants for about 20 minutes to half an hour goes to the toilet then comes back but makes a stop at the same tenant shop she was talking to before have talk again for say about 15 minutes then makes her way back][sorry it sounds like stalking but it makes you wonder how can a trip to a toilet take so long especially if you only need to piss!] she sits down and eats and then complains, this food is cold, did you reheat this? blah blah, i am pretty sure i did, but you just decided to make everything cold, then at nights when she is back from work , she knows that she is tired and that the next day is going to be hard for her if she does not get her rest! but she does not care, she goes and watch television until 12 + then the next morning starts complaining about her aches!
there is so much more i can just rage about, it just annoys me why can she not just be a responsible mother, who organises herself, knows what she is doing each day at what time and keep her mobile phone with her at all times, literally when you need to call her desperately, it is never with her someday i am going to have a serious accident and then when i need to reach her ha, i will not be able to and then before she knows it she will be blaming herself and regretting so many things!
But on the good sides of me, today i went to a cafe to buy my friend pepsi as a b'day present [ u only get it if you were there at that moment] anyways, i remember giving the guy a ten dollar note, because the can only costed two dollars, anyway he looked at me and started a conversation and started to ask me questions like, are you Singaporean or or Malaysian something like that, i told him no and then said to him that my uncle used to own this cafe, he ask a few questions then gave me my change and left, i walked out of the cafe was near the coffee shop kind of far away, the change was still in my hand because i was trying to but that can in my bag hopping it will not explode or make my books all soaked, got near the bus station was putting my chain back into my purse but then only realising that the man had give me fifty two dollars change, oh my god i was like a little girl at a candy store i was happy, probably because it was quiet a lot of money to receive especially when you just gave someone ten dollars hoping the return of eight dollars back. then i called mum and told her about it, she said i should give it back, but i was not going to walk all the way back because my mum had just arrived and i am not going to miss that bus and wait half an hour for the next one to arrive, so i told her she laughed and said lets talk about it when you get home, we shall think of ways to spend it. In our tradition if you receive wrong change[a greater amount like in my case] or picked up money from the floor, you should think of ways to spend it, little bit or all of it, but just a way of spending it because it kind of symbolise as stealing i do not know how but it is bad luck. i was just jumping happy all the way home, 1st of all would be i have never receive wrong change from anyone, but i have given out the wrong change and since it is first time man that is a huge amount. not even my parents would give me fifty dollars that casually! since i have been having a bad day that was actually the only thing that cheered me up so i am pretty happy about it =]
anyway it is getting late and tomorrow is Saturday, so guess what! i am heading to the vegetable markets bright and early, hope you all get a good sleep in =]
Kayan
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